Domestic failure and a near-death experience

I've been asked by several people to blog about an incident at my house Thursday night.

I blogged earlier in the week about my canning triumph with tomatoes. That same night, I went ahead and broke beans and put them in the fridge so I could can those as well. I waited to do it until Thursday night, when I got home from work. I cooked them partially, then put them in the jars, as instructed by my mother. I packed them in, added the right amount of water and salt and put on the lids and rings. Everything is going well.

I put the jars in the pot with some water and a lid. I cook the four jars for the prescribed amount of time.

When they're done, I take off the pot lid and.......

BOOF!

Boiling hot green beans, steam, liquid from the jars and glass shrapnel assault me.

I blank out for a moment from shock, then work my way through the broken glass and green bean explosion. I'm barefoot, so this is much slower going than I would prefer. Once in the living room, I race to my roommates' bathroom because it's the closest and use someone's towel to get the steaming hot liquid off my face and arms. By now, I'm panicked because I realize I'm burned.
It's shortly after midnight and I'm by myself. My mother is at her house, asleep for hours. I have no one to ask for advice.

So I call Maureen, one of The Star's copy editors. When I call her, I'm in shock and still can't form logical sentences. My face is still burning. On the phone with her, I get a washcloth and run cold water on it, then put it on my face to draw out some of the heat.

A few minutes later, I'm getting more and more hysterical because by now I realize that I could have been killed by one of the jars that exploded in my face or that I could have received third-degree burns.

I pick chunks of bean out of my hair.

Moments later, both of my roommates, Hugh and Adam (both also copy editors at the paper), walk in. I'm crying and hysterical. I am one hot mess. They look stunned, but rush to my aid and begin cleaning up the mess while I go to Wal-Mart and stand in line for 10 minutes just to buy a can of spray aloe.

By the time I made it home, the two of them had everything cleaned up, with the exception of a few bean chunks here and there and a couple hard-to-reach shards of glass. They were both heroes.

Needless to say, it took the three of us a while to settle down last night, but when I woke up this morning, the burns were all better, with the exception of a few places around my eyes and one on my forehead.

With all that said, I escaped the ordeal rather unscathed, despite the trauma, but may never eat green beans again. As for the beans, one jar miraculously survived... and sealed. Amazing.